Nobody knows this mall better than I do.

Paul Blart

I just got a shipment of Pineapple Express, the dopest dope I've ever smoked. Smellll it. It's like... God's vagina.


Heather Duke: Veronica, can you come back here a minute?
Veronica Sawyer: A true friend's work is never done.
Heather Chandler: Gross.

Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?

And as long as I have teeth, I will bite you!

Eli Sunday

Benji Dunn: Let me guess. Presumed dead?
Ethan Hunt: Well tonight, I just made it official.

Alvin: [during a chase] They'll never take us alive!
Simon: [in the cat carrier] They just did take us alive, Alvin!

Toshi: But, Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra.
Dupree: First, call me Dupree. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter.

He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

The Sphinx

Troy Bolton: Dude, Ms. Darbus has snapped her cap!
Chad Danforth: Dude, you're actually listening?

You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.


Pete Hansen: What's wrong, Pookie?
Jenna: Pookie? Uh... *Pukie!* You're married!

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