Paul Rusesabagina: They told me I was one of them, and I... the wine, chocolates, cigars, style... I swallowed it. I swallowed it, I swallowed all of it. And they handed me their shit. I have no... no history. I have no memory. I'm a fool, Tati.
Tatiana Rusesabagina: You are no fool. I know who you are.

[to Mayans] You don't even know our names. You don't know any of our names. I'm Jeff. Jeff Dean McIntyre. Winnetka, Illinois. Twenty-two years old. I was going to be a doctor. That was my dream. That's all I wanted. You should know her name, too. Her name is Amy! She's not going to die in this fucking place!


The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.


Larry: Why didn't you just tell me the second I walked through the door?
Anna: I was scared.
Larry: You're a coward, you spoiled bitch.

Jake: It's good to see you, sweetheart.
Mystery Woman: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.

Boy, am I a victim of disappointment in you.


He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Any canned pineapple that expires on May 1?
Cashier: You know what day it is today?
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: April 30?
Cashier: Right. You think we sell outdated stock?
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: There's still two hours to go.
Cashier: Nobody would buy it. Get a fresh one.
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: People like you are hung up on freshness. You realize what goes into a can of pineapple? The fruit must be grown, harvested, sliced, and you just throw it away! How do you think the can feels about that?
Cashier: Buddy, I only work here. Who cares about how the cans feel? What about how I feel? Loading, more loading, unloading... How I wish cans wouldn't expire! It'd save me loads of work. You like expired cans? Help yourself! As many as you like! On the house!

Aragorn: Let the lord of the Black Lands come forth, that justice be done upon him!
The Mouth of Sauron: My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?
Gandalf: We do not wish to treat with Sauron, Faithless, and Accursed; Tell your master this: The armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return.
The Mouth of Sauron: Ahh, old grey beard. I have a token I was bidden to show thee. [Pulls out Frodo's mythril vest and throws it at them]
Pippin: Frodo...
Gandalf: Silence.
Merry: No!
Gandalf: Silence!

Kathryn: [referring to Annette] She's really getting to you, isn't she?
Sebastian: If you must know, yes. I can't stand that holier-than-thou bullshit, and yet, I'm completely infatuated with her.
Sebastian: She made me laugh.

Gary: Hey Abby, I thought this was a different bunk.
Abby Bernstein: No.
Gary: Am I bothering you?

After 19 years in the big leagues, 40 year old Billy Chapel has trudged to the mound for over 4000 innings. But tonight, he's pitching against time, he's pitching against the future, against age, against ending. Tonight, he will make the fateful walk to the loneliest spot in the world, the pitching mound at Yankee Stadium, to push the sun back into the sky and give us one more day of summer.

Vin Scully

Let me ask you this. On a scale of one to ten, what are the chances that you'll be assassinated - one being highly unlikely, ten being you're expecting it around every corner?

Dr. Jules Hilbert

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