Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

Michael Newman: [reading off letter] Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy.
Michael Newman: Okay, Morty.
[Throws the universal remote into the bin]

Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.

Richard Vernon

Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Austin Powers

Big Chris: All right, son: roll them guns up, count the money, and put your seat belt on.

Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.

Cher

[about to be kissed] Uh, I heard this rumor... alcohol impairs your judgment.

Carter Duryea

Bobby: Which way we goin', this way or that way?
Lewis: I think downstream would be a good idea.

Don't let it control you.

Prof. Charles Xavier

Jake: You show up here, after seven years, without so much as a "Hey there, Jake, remember me... your wife!" Or a, "Hi honey, lookin' good. How's the family?"
Melanie Carmichael: You expect me to tell you look good? What, did they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

I just wanna live, Lee. I just want a normal happy life. I don't know why you did this.

Selby

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