It's funny. You know, when I was a little kid I always wanted a brother. I told that to mom once and she said, "You have a brother". I said, "Oh, so that's who the asshole in the other bed is".

Timothy Fenwick, Jr.

Woody Grant: Where's my teeth?
David Grant: You lost your teeth?

They might as well call it whitejack!


Spock: [closing monologue] Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life-forms and new civilizations; to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Norman Burroughs: I don't understand.
Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: I polish my allowance. I boil it clean, then polish it with silver polish.
Norman Burroughs: But why, Augusten? Why?
Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: Because I like shiny things.
Norman Burroughs: I really don't see myself in you at all.
Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: I'm more like my mom. I want to be special and I want to be famous.

You've got a nasty reputation, Mr. Gittes. I like that.

Noah Cross

[about a bum on a park bench]
Ann: Every time I see one of those old guys, I always think the same thing.
Mark: What do you think?
Ann: I always think that he was once somebody's baby boy. Really, I do. I think he was once somebody's baby boy, and he had a mother and a father who loved him, and now there he is, half dead on a park bench, and where are his mother or his father, all his uncles now?

Loki: I forgot my little voodoo doll. Wow. It really does look just like you. Maybe, if I believed enough...
[pauses, then crushes voodoo doll of Whitland, who is terrified but unharmed]
Loki: I don't believe in voodoo. [leaves, re-enters with a gun] But I do believe in this.

Ray Charles: Could you do me a favor and close that bag?
Quincy Jones: What's wrong with you? You got two hands. You can close it yourself.
Ray Charles: I got two feet too. Could you close the bag?

Sergeant Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!
John Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.

Chunk: Look at this. They've got Misissippi Mud and they've got Chocolate Eruption and they've got what?
Chunk: It's a stiff.

FBI Director Womack: Just clippers, no scissors.
Paul the Hotel Barber: No scissors, you've got to be kidding me, no scissors. I mean, did they tell Picasso "no brush"?
FBI Director Womack: With scissors, this man could kill you.
John Mason: I can't cut off anyone's balls with a trimmer, now can I? Why don't we do this outside? Get some sun.

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