Charlie Wilson: You mean to tell me that the U.S. strategy in Afghanistan is to have the Afghans keep walking into machine gun fire 'til the Russians run out of bullets?
Gust Avrakotos: That's Harold Holt's strategy, not U.S. strategy.
Charlie Wilson: What is U.S. strategy?
Gust Avrakotos: Most strictly speaking, we don't have one. But we're working on it.
Charlie Wilson: Who's 'we'?
Gust Avrakotos: Me and three other guys.

Dr. King Schultz: How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django: Kill white people and get paid for it? What's not to like?

Claire Standish: [about her folks] I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It's like they use me just to get back at each other.
Allison Reynolds: [her first words of dialogue so far] Ha!
Claire Standish: [pauses] Shut up!

That's what I'm talkin' about! How do you think I wound up here? Had a little debate with my instructor on relativistic physics and how it pertains to subspace travel. He seemed to think that the range of transporting something like a... like a grapefruit was limited to about 100 miles. I told him that I could not only beam a grapefruit from one planet to the adjacent planet in the same system - which is easy, by the way - I could do it with a life form. So, I tested it out on Admiral Archer's prized beagle.


Dave: You ball your socks, you floss, and you don't hide booze in the toilet tank.
Dave: [pauses] You live like a Mormon.

Cassie Cartwright: I don't get you, Ennis del Mar.
Ennis del Mar: I'm sorry... Was probably no fun anyway, was I?
Cassie Cartwright: Ennis, girls don't fall in love with fun!

Sophie: I don't care if you've slept with hundreds of men!
Donna: I haven't slept with HUNDREDS of men...!

Carol Connelly: Melvin, I'd rather not.
Melvin Udall: What does that got to do with it?
Carol Connelly: Funny, I thought it was a strong point.

[last lines, as the fish have managed to roll into the ocean in their plastic bags]
Deb: Yay!
Bloat: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Gill: We did it!
[long pause]
Bloat: Now what?

Artoo says that the chances of survival are 725 to 1. Actually Artoo has been known to make mistakes... from time to time... Oh dear...


Simon: [talking to police on speaker] Well, is the ebony Samaritan there?
Zeus: You got a problem with ebony?
Simon: No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan.
Zeus: Well, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.

I'm gonna send you all to hell!

Steve the Pirate

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