Seriously, who is this? Is this Burt from accounting?

The Mayor of Who-ville

Dwight: We're still missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.
Owen: Who's Steve the Pirate?
Dwight: The only guy on our team that dresses like a pirate!
Owen: Wait, there's a guy on our team who dresses like a pirate?

Five and Dime Manager: Divorce is an abomination. Marriage is for life.
June Carter: I'm sorry I let you down, ma'am.

Edward Wilson: You are never to tell anyone what it is that I do!
Clover Wilson: What you do? I don't know what you do! You leave at five, you're home at ten, seven days a week! I live with a ghost! I don't know anything about you!

Eve Kendall: I tipped the steward five dollars to seat you here if you should come in.
Roger Thornhill: Is that a proposition?
Eve Kendall: I never discuss love on an empty stomach.
Roger Thornhill: You've already eaten!
Eve Kendall: But you haven't.

FBI Director Womack: Just clippers, no scissors.
Paul the Hotel Barber: No scissors, you've got to be kidding me, no scissors. I mean, did they tell Picasso "no brush"?
FBI Director Womack: With scissors, this man could kill you.
John Mason: I can't cut off anyone's balls with a trimmer, now can I? Why don't we do this outside? Get some sun.

What you are imagining right now? That place can be as real as anything.

Madam Gorski

You're gonna kill me woman! I need sleep, I need food, to regain my strength!

Young Noah

If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."

Ben Stone

Man, what am I DOIN' in here, man? This ol' ghetto ass class got people in here lookin' like a bad rerun of cops!


Dr. Richard Kimble: I thought you didn't care?
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don't. [laughs] Don't tell anybody, okay?

I don't know. Part of me thinks the kid's right. He asks what he's done to deserve this. He wants to stay here, fine. Let's leave him and go home. But then another part of me thinks, what if by some miracle we stay, then actually make it out of here. Someday we might look back on this and decide that saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful, shitty mess. Like you said, Captain, maybe we do that, we all earn the right to go home.

Sergeant Horvath

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