No flying in the house!

Janet Benson

Mrs. Emma du Maurier: Go upstairs George, now!
George Llewelyn Davies: Quit ordering me about! This isn't your home, it's *our* home! Just because Mother's needed your help recently doesn't give you the right to lord over her existence. She isn't a child anymore, and neither am I. If she wants to see uncle Jim she can see uncle Jim. There's nothing you can do about it!

[in Rita's car]
Rita: On the Porsche the door handle is a little hidden by that thingamajig, so if you're having trouble finding it...
Annie: NO!
Sam: Ok, I think maybe Annie's not exactly ready to go yet.

Imperial Guard: Chon Wang!
Roy O'Bannon: That's right, Johnny Wayne's here.

I like to see girls of that... caliber. By "caliber," of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters... Two meanings... caliber... it's a homonym... Forget it.

Dr. Evil

Earl Bassett: Must be a million of them!
Valentine McKee: Nope, just one!

Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!

I can help. I can fix this. Let me save you. I can save you; I can save everybody.


Penny Escher: I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick.
Kay Eiffel: And this coming from someone who's never thought about leaping off a building.

I work alone like you. We always work alone.

The Professor

It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson

Indecisive Video Customer: Well, what about these two?
Randal Graves: Oh, they suck.
Indecisive Video Customer: These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!
Randal Graves: No, I wasn't.
Indecisive Video Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal Graves: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
Indecisive Video Customer: I beg your pardon?
Randal Graves: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
Indecisive Video Customer: I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying!
Randal Graves: And I hope it feels good.
Indecisive Video Customer: You hope WHAT feels good?
Randal Graves: I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Indecisive Video Customer: Well, this is the last time I rent here.
Randal Graves: You'll be missed.
Indecisive Video Customer: Screw you!

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