[while brushing teeth] Altogether, I've had five pints of beer and six bottles...no...six pints of beer and seven bottles, and you know what? I'm not even pissed.

Ray

Please wait outside. The council will now meet in secret, debate your personality flaws, and come to a final decision.

Tammy

Arrested for what, baby? For being awesome?

Lupus Grobowski

Hale Caesar: Great, they got a small army. What have we got?
[looks at Yin Yang]
Hale Caesar: Four and a half men.
[Everyone but Yin Yang laughs]
Yin Yang: Not so funny.

Driving Instructor: In America, a woman can choose who she has sex with.
Borat: Whaaaaat?

Michelle: There um, hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time in the Levenstein household lately.
Selena: Why not?
Michelle: I don't know. I'm a mom now...
Selena: Oh please. Just because your a mom doesn't mean there isn't a whole other side to you.
Michelle: Hey! Remember that one time, at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each others...
Selena: Yes! Yes, I remember...let's keep that in the past though, okay?

Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
Mr. Potato Head: Will you just leave me alone?

Ennis Del Mar: I'm gonna tell you this one time, Jack fuckin' Twist, an' I ain't foolin'. What I don't know - all them things that I don't know - could get you killed if I come to know them. I ain't jokin'.
Jack Twist: Yeah well try this one, and I'll say it just once!
Ennis Del Mar: Go ahead!
Jack Twist: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you sonofawhoreson bitch!

Sharpay Evans: I told you to keep an eye on them. Not turn them into the cast of Grease.
Ryan Evans: Pretty cool huh?
Sharpay Evans: Do you want us to loose the Star Dazzle award to a bunch of... dishwashers?
Ryan Evans: Us? Well I guess that's showbiz.
Sharpay Evans: When did you become... one of them?
Ryan Evans: You know I'll take that as a compliment. But you and Troy have a good show sis.
Sharpay Evans: Oh. We plan too.

Napoleon Dynamite: So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?
Pedro: Yes.
Napoleon Dynamite: So, you got my back and everything, right?
Pedro: What?

The fire has been called off my friend. So you might as well come out and join the others. I promise I won't hurt you.

Tony

Pee-wee: Some night, huh?
Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...!
Pee-wee: Aaaaaahh!
Large Marge: Yes, Sir, the worst accident I ever seen.

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