[after catching Harry scribbling on his paper]
Professor Severus Snape: Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?
[Harry doesn't answer]
Professor Severus Snape: You don't know? Well, let's try again... Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?
Harry: I don't know, sir.
Professor Severus Snape: And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?
Harry: I don't know, sir.
Professor Severus Snape: Pity... clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?

James Carter: Couldn't help noticin' how she was staring at a brother.
Lee: She never even look at you.
James Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.

I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too.

Thurgood Jenkins

This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

Carl Spackler

Darth Vader: His lightsaber.
The Emperor: [to Luke] Ah, a Jedi's weapon, much like your father's. By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the Dark Side. So will it be with you.

I pray that I may never see the desert again. Hear me, God.

T.E. Lawrence

I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.

Ed Rooney

Lloyd: I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad!
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.

And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Doug Neidermeyer

Macaulay Connor: I don't think you're being fair to me, Mr. Kidd.
Sidney Kidd: No?
Macaulay Connor: No. You're treating me like you treat all your other writers.

Wanda: What have you found out?
Otto: Not a lot.
Wanda: You realise he's in court tomorrow?
Otto: I know. I know that!
Wanda: So nothing, huh?
Otto: Nix. Zip. Diddly. Bupkis. Niente.

Darth Vader: He will come to me?
The Emperor: I have foreseen it. His compassion for you will be his undoing. He will come to you and then you will bring him before me.
Darth Vader: As you wish.

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