Lee: Why would they not want my help?
Carter: Because they don't give a damn about you! They don't like you! I don't like you!
Lee: I don't care! I'm here for the girl!
Carter: The girl don't like you! Nobody likes you!

Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit my a car and I'm feeling a little confused.

Carolyn Stoddard: Are you stoned or something?
Barnabas Collins: They tried stoning me, my dear. It did not work.

I... am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I BASH the enemy in the head, or I burn them like so! I also have some truth syrup, which is low in fat.

Waffler

So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team.

Murphy

Katie: Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Haven't you heard? CONSCIENCE is daihed.
Charlie Simms: No, I haven't heard.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, then, take the fuckin' WAX outta your ears! GROW UP! It's fuck your buddy. Cheat on your wife. Call your mother on Mother's Day. Charlie, it's all shit.

Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don't know. It's a mystery.

Your national security advisor has just been executed. He's a very good negotiator. He bought you another half hour.

Egor Korshunov

I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.

Ron Burgundy

Ana Pascal: [to cast-covered Harold] So what happened?
Harold Crick: I stepped in front of a bus.
Ana Pascal: What? Why?
Harold Crick: There was a boy I had to pull out of the way?
Ana Pascal: What?
Harold Crick: There was this boy, I had to...
Ana Pascal: You stepped in front of a bus to save a boy?
Harold Crick: I had to. I didn't have a choice.

Billy: The wet look is in, asshole.
Alec: That's Mr. Asshole to you.

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