[intercepted radio message] I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream; that's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor... and surviving.


Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
Bethany: Nineteen?
Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.

Jack Ryan: Has he made any Crazy Ivans?
Capt. Bart Mancuso: What difference does that make?
Jack Ryan: Because his next one is going to be to starboard.
Capt. Bart Mancuso: Why? Because his last was to port?
Jack Ryan: No. Because he always goes to starboard in the bottom half of the hour.

Pirate leader: Drop your guns!
Lee Christmas: Fat chance.
Barney Ross: Why do they always say that?

Everyone has something they're good at. I've always been stupid, but I'm good at this.

Bess McNeill

Mutt Williams: Is that a spaceship?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: A portal, to another dimension.
Indiana Jones: Don't think we want to go that way...

Dr. Peter Flynn: I didn't know we were going to dinner.
Max Fischer: Well, that's because you weren't invited.

A.J. MacInerney: Sir, it's immediate, it's decisive, it's low-risk, and it's a proportional response.
President Andrew Shepherd: Someday someone's going to have to explain to me the virtue of a proportional response.

I don't know. I wanna... I wanna be normal, I want to go to college. Everybody has this, and I should be able to experience this. And I can't do that with you.

Sam Witwicky

You don't know the first thing about love, because you don't understand compromise.


Alma: Prew, it's true we love each other now, we need each other, but back in the States it might be different.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: That ain't the real reason.
Alma: You're right, it's not.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: What is the real reason?
Alma: I - I won't marry you because I don't want to be the wife of a soldier.
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Well, that... would be about the best I could ever do for you.
Alma: Because nobody's going to stop me from my plan. Nobody, nothing. Because I want to be proper!
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Proper.
Alma: Yes, proper! In another year I'll have enough money saved. Then I'm going to go back to my home town in Oregon, and I'm going to build a house for my mother and myself, and join the country club and take up golf. Then I'll meet the proper man with the proper position, to make a proper wife, and can run a proper home and raise proper children. And I'll be HAPPY because when you're PROPER you're SAFE!
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: You've got guts, honey. I hope you can pull that off.
Alma: I do mean it when I say I need you. 'Cause I'm lonely. You think I'm lying, don't you?
Robert E. Lee "Prew' Prewitt: Nobody ever lies about being lonely.

Who cares how much effort I put in, if it doesn't produce any results?


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