[after catching Harry scribbling on his paper]
Professor Severus Snape: Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?
[Harry doesn't answer]
Professor Severus Snape: You don't know? Well, let's try again... Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?
Harry: I don't know, sir.
Professor Severus Snape: And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?
Harry: I don't know, sir.
Professor Severus Snape: Pity... clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?

Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as a oral bowel movement.

Randal Graves

Victor Laszlo: I know a good deal more about you than you suspect. I know, for instance, that you're in love with a woman. It is perhaps a strange circumstance that we both should be in love with the same woman. The first evening I came to this café, I knew there was something between you and Ilsa. Since no one is to blame, I - I demand no explanation. I ask only one thing. You won't give me the letters of transit
Rick: You love her that much?
Victor Laszlo: Apparently you think of me only as the leader of a cause. Well, I'm also a human being. Yes, I love her that much.

The one ring to rule them all.

Galadriel

Dante Hicks: Are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

Detective Richie Roberts: Good work Frank. You... want a drink or something? Celebrate?
Frank Lucas: You got any holy water?

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt
[pause]
Tugg Speedman: Retarded. Like, really retarded.
Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: An Imbicile?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?
Tugg Speedman: [pause] When I was playing the character.

Eat it 'til you choke, you sick, twisted fuck!

Paul Sheldon

You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.

Chip Douglas

Steve Zissou: Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.

Yes, I saw her naked. No, I did not fuck her.

Larry

Max Reede: My dad? He's... a liar.
Teacher: A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max Reede: Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Teacher: Oh, you mean he's a lawyer.

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