Unless you came in here to wipe my ass, I believe we're through.

Ellis Loew

George Simmons: Good news, Bonita. I went to the doctor today. He said I was doing better.
Bonita: That's good, Mr. Simmons. I found the pants you were looking for. They were in the closet.

Bill: [slightly drunk] When you didn't come back, I naturally assumed that Lisa Wong or somebody else had killed you. Oh, and for the record, letting someone think that someone they love is dead when they're not is quite cruel. I mourned you for three months. And in the third month of mourning you... I tracked you down. Now, I wasn't trying to track you down. I was trying to track down the fucking assholes who I thought killed you. So, I find you. And what do I find? Not only are you not dead, you're getting married to some fucking jerk and you're pregnant. I... overreacted.
The Bride: You overreacted?

Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...
Tracy Lord: Oh, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, now, that's not conversation.

Do whatever it takes. You can't fail if you never give up.

Stephen

Jerry Lundegaard: Now we had a deal. A deal's a deal.
Carl Showalter: Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal. Go ahead, ask 'em!
Jerry Lundegaard: The heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: [mocking] "The heckya mean?"

Sir Alexander Dane: [Guy is grinning at Alex] What?
Guy Fleegman: I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man.

Marlin: Hey. Guess what?
Nemo: What?
Marlin: Sea turtles? I met one, and he was 150 years old.
Nemo: A hundred and fifty?
Marlin: Yup.
Nemo: Oh. 'Cause Sandy Plankton said that they only live to be a hundred.
Marlin: Sandy Plankton? You think I would travel the whole ocean and not know as much as Sandy Plankton? He was a 150, not a hundred.

[to Speed's mother] Your son seems to be interested in only one thing. All he talks about, all he seems capable of thinking about... is automobile racing.

Teacher

So, you a big 100% Cotton fan?

Cotton Weary

Clarissa Vaughn: He came out behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder...”Good morning, Mrs. Dalloway." From then on I've been stuck.
Louis Waters: Stuck?
Clarissa Vaughn: Yep. With the name, I mean.

Gene: Now, we need to make 8 gallons of bug juice by snack hour; do you know where the powder packets are?
Gary: Yeah.
Gene: In the pantry, above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream... Uh, wait, forget that last part.
Gary: Did you say dick cream?
Gene: No! I said next to my... stick... team, you know, stick team! Stickball! Go away, leave me alone!

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