Marshall Sisco: Are you gonna go get him?
Karen Sisco: It's possible, why?
Marshall Sisco: Well, I was thinking, you could have a nice time with him on the ride down - like picking up where your interlude or whatever you call it left off - and then you could throw him in the shit house!

Masrani: So the paddock is quite safe then...
Claire: Yes. We have the best structural engineers in the world.
Masrani: Yeah, so did Hammond...

Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship.
[Resets the ship back to morning]
Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As always, the weather is a balmy 72 degrees and sunny, and, uh... Oh, I see the ship's log is showing that today is the 700th anniversary of our five year cruise. Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that 700 years later we'd be... doing the exact same thing they were doing. So, be sure next mealtime to ask for your free sep-tua-centennial cupcake in a cup. Wow, look at that.

Adam Flayman: Are you going to his funeral?
Barry B. Benson: No way. Everyone knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead.

A driver don't pick the cars. Mmm-mm. Cars pick the driver.

Bobby Bolivia

KG: Gimme a powerslide. Full throttle.
JB: sssshhhhh...
[Hissing while performing a horrible powerslide]
KG: How did that feel?
JB: Really good. How did it look?
KG: Amazing... ly bad.

I wanted to tell Kyle, I wanted him to know the truth. But the way he looked at me, the way he looked up to me... I just couldn't do it. A hero always tells the truth no matter what people think about him or no matter what the consequences are. And you have always been that way Justin.

Ray Wincott

Matt Farrell: You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane: I was out of bullets.

You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.

Lou Brown

Bruce Wayne: I will go back to Gotham and fight men like this, but I will not become an executioner.
Henri Ducard: Bruce, please! For your own sake. There is no turning back.

J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.

I always thought the joy of reading a book is not knowing what happens next.

Leonard Shelby

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