You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?


Iosef Tarasov: That nobody?
Viggo Tarasov: That nobody is John Wick.
Iosef Tarasov: I'm not afraid of John Wick.
Viggo Tarasov: You should be. I once saw him kill three men with a pencil. A (expletive) pencil!

You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?


Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Judge: Why?
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Judge: Overruled.
Fletcher: Good call!

Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of armored truck and walks into the bank]

Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Austin Powers

[after Linus complains] Are you hosting a telethon we don't know about?

Reuben Tishkoff

Alright listen up, we need to open our eyes. There's over two million illegal immigrants bending down in this state tonight. This state spent three billion dollars last year on services, on people who had no right to be here in the first place. Three billion dollars. 400 million just to lock up a bunch of illegal immigrant criminals who only got in this country because the fucking INS decided it's not worth the effort to screen for convicted felons.

Derek Vinyard

Anywhere you go, all around the world, all the best cooks are men.

Lefty Ruggiero

Lucius Verus: Are you the one they call the Spaniard?
Maximus: Yes.
Lucius Verus: They said you were a giant. They said you could crush a man's skull with one hand.
Maximus: A man's? No. A boy's?

Aren't you a healer, and a vessel for the holy spirit? When are you coming over and make my son hear again? CAN'T YOU DO THAT?


Brad Hamilton: Arnold, do you want to work at All-American Burger?
Arnold: Yeah, well, um...
Brad Hamilton: I can probably get you in there. Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.

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