Alan Garner: Can I ask you another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan Garner: You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace is it?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: Did, umm... did Caesar live here?
Lisa: No.
Alan Garner: I didn't think so.

Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

Fairy Godmother

Dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules!

Chip Douglas

Englishmen don't know what a tongue is for.

Nicolette

Yoda: Fought well you have, my old Padawan.
Count Dooku: This is just the beginning!

Will: Four minutes for a cup of coffee?
Will's Friend: Yesterday it was three!
Coffee worker: You want coffee or you want to reminisce?

Gang Bang Guy: Hello.
Mitch: Yeah?
Gang Bang Guy: I'm here for the gangbang...

Tommy: Hmmm. He seems like a nice guy.
Richard Hayden: This is the guy trying to buy the company, not to mention put you out on the street, and all you can say is, "Hmmm, he seems like a nice guy!"

Ian Miller: How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
Nick: "Oréa viziá."
Ian Miller: "Oréa viziá." [English translation: "Nice boobs."]

Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.

Elrond: I give hope to men.
Aragorn: I keep none for myself.

I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.

John Smith

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