Old Bilbo: No, thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations!
Gandalf: What about old friends?

I'm keeping him.

Elliott

I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of fuckin' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.

Mike Damone

[to Jake] Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!

Willie Mays Hayes

[Agnes looks at a fairground stall's prize, a unicorn plush toy]
Agnes: It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
[the sisters try their hand at the stall, but lose]
Agnes: Gru...
Gru: Okay, MY turn...
[pulls out a multi-barreled blaster that destroys the stall]
Gru: Knocked OVER!
Agnes: [cuddling her unicorn in ecstasy] It's so FLUFFY!

Dewey Finn: Look the first thing you do when you start a band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band you want to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Marta: Christina Aguilera
Dewey Finn: Who? No. Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Leonard: Puff Daddy
Dewey Finn: Wrong. Billy?
Billy: Liza Minnelli?

Nicholas Garrigan: [spins globe] First place you land, first place you land.
[stops globe with finger, looks]
Nicholas Garrigan: Canada.

Alicia: [about stars] I once tried to count them all. I, actually, made it to 4,348.
Nash: You are exceptionally odd.
Alicia: I bet you're very popular with the girls.

Augusten Burroughs: I'm gay.
Natalie: Big dea

Private Reiben: Well, maybe not the captain, but the rest of us got mothers.
Upham: "Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die."
Mellish: La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la. What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Corporal, huh? We're all supposed to die, is that it?
Captain Miller: Upham's talking about our duty as soldiers.
Upham: Yes, sir.
Captain Miller: We all have orders, and we have to follow 'em. That supersedes everything, including your mothers.
Upham: Yes, sir. Thank you sir.
Private Reiben: Even if you think the mission's FUBAR, sir?
Captain Miller: *Especially* if you think the mission's FUBAR.

Quentin Hapsburg: We'll be at the reception. Make sure nothing happens to him while I'm gone. Then, I want the pleasure of killing you myself.
Lt. Frank Drebin: The pleasure is all mine.

Lyckety-Splyt: Aight, leaders of the Free World in the mutha fuckin' house!
Future: Man, fuck the Free World!
Cheddar Bob: YEAH! FUCK THE FREE WORLD!
Lyckety-Splyt: Fuck the Free World?
Sol: I should fuck you up, Cheddar!
Cheddar Bob: Future said it!

FREE Movie Newsletter