College women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.

Joel Goodson

Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Frank Drebin: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.

Foster: How you feelin' there, Mac?
Mac: Good enough... to fuck... your mother.

Thurgood Jenkins: [to Mary Jane] Listen, I really like you. I was just wondering maybe if you're interested we can go out later and get some ice cream or something...
Thurgood Jenkins: Damn!

James: You're alone... because you're faster than the others. But not stronger...
Edward Cullen: I'm strong enough to kill you...

All right, Popeye's here! get your hands on your heads, get off the bar, and get on the wall!

Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle

Radio announcer: President Truman'll be here tomorrow, so all you folks in Dallas turn out, chuh hear? This is Cowboy Rhythms on KTRN, Wichita Falls, here's Hank Williams' big hit tune, "Cold Cold Heart".
Sam the Lion: You ain't ever gonna amount to nothing. Already spent a dime this morning, ain't even had a decent breakfast. Gimme the chalk. Why don't you comb you hair Sonny, it sticks up, look like you smelled'm wolf. I'm surprised you had the nerve to show up this morning after that stomping y'all took last night.

Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!


You are a very fine fellow, Mr Baggins, and I am very fond of you. But you are really just a little fellow, in a wide world.


Emily: He must have put it back on his way in, didn't plan on that did you?
Steven: Young David he was... he was very unpredictable.

Sharpay Evans: When did you become... one of them?
Ryan Evans: You know, I'll take that as a compliment.

Bernie Focker: At least I'm comfortable enough in my skin to cook for my family. Tell me when was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed? When was the last time you gave her anything in bed?
Jack Byrnes: Now you're outta line Focker.
Bernie Focker: No man you are outta line. You hurt my feelings there. There's no reason to hurt my feelings.
[looks at Greg and points to Jack]
Bernie Focker: He insulted me.

FREE Movie Newsletter