Parker: Uh, before we dock, I think we oughta discuss the bonus situation.
Brett: Right.
Parker: Brett and I, we think we oughta - we deserve full shares, right baby?
Brett: Right. You see, Mr. Parker and I feel that the bonus situation has never been on a-an equitable level.
Dallas: Well, you get what you're contracted for like everybody else.
Brett: Yes, but everybody else, uh, gets more than us.

"I don't like you takin' liberties with my dick."

Nick [to Lou, regarding an oral sex bet]

Lady, you don't know shit about shit.

Billy Quinn

You start to play it and it's like somebody's nightmare. And then this woman comes on, smiling at you, right? Seeing you... through the screen! Then when it's over, your phone rings, someone knows you watched the tape... and what they say is," You will die in seven days."

Becca

[referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

Napoleon Dynamite

The white girl is back.

Kimmy Jin

[having farted in an elevator] It was me!

Fletcher

I have received a call from Mark's dad saying the car wash was a success, and then I got a call from Chase's dad about the car wash being a great success, and then a call from Danni's dad saying we should have a car wash every weekend. So whatever she did, worked.

Principal Wally Snur

[facing a storm on the lifeboat] Richard Parker, come out you have to see this! It's beautiful!

Pi Patel

Metatron: However, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You'll have support.
Bethany: What, more angels?
Metatron: Prophets. Two of them. The one who speaks - and he will, at great lengths, whether you want him to or not - will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one... well, he's the quiet type, but he'll be helpful just the same.

Christopher: How long are you in town for?
Marisa: I'm not sure.
Christopher: You always stay at the Beresford?
Marisa: Sometimes I feel like I live there.

Jack Fuller: How hard can it be?
Joy McNally: I know how hard it isn't.

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