[as children, Metro Man is given stars from the teacher, while Megamind is made to stand in a corner]
Megamind: No matter what happened, I wa always the last chosen, the odd one out, the black sheep... the bad boy. Was this my destiny?... Wait. Maybe it WAS! Being bad is the one thing I'm good at! Then it hit me: if I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them ALL!
[sets off a chemical explosion in the schoolhouse]
Megamind: I was destined to be a supervillain, and we were destined to be rivals! The die was cast! And so began an epic enduring lifelong career... and I LOVED IT!

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Wiseman

I'm a tall drink of water, I gotta stretch my shit out.

Ricky Slade

Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!

I'm just a little boy who plays with his penis when he's nervous.

Kirk Lazarus

Ace Rothstein: I'm just curious. I saw you shuffling your checks with your right hand. Can you do that with both hands?
Signaller: No.
Ace Rothstein: Can't do it with both hands?
Signaller: No, sir.
Ace Rothstein: Can you do it with your left hand?
Signaller: Well, I... I never tried.
Ace Rothstein: So you're a righty?
Signaller: Yeah.
[guard repeatedly bangs his right hand with hammer]
Ace Rothstein: Now you're gonna have to learn with your left hand.

Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.

Carolyn Burnham: Lester, you're going to spill beer on the couch.
Lester Burnham: Relax, it's just a couch!
Carolyn Burnham: This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch.
Lester Burnham: [screaming] It's just a couch!

Vivian: Let's watch old movies all night... we'll just veg out in front of the TV.
Edward Lewis: Veg out?
Vivian: Yeah. Be still like vegetables. Lay like broccoli.
Edward Lewis: Look, I'll tell ya what. I'll be back. We'll do broccoli tomorrow.

Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about money no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.

Forrest Gump

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.

My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen!

Ace Ventura

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