Harry: [as Eric tries to call the cops, believing he is an intruder] You don't understand... I'm dating your daughter!
Erica Barry: Oh my God! You're dating my daughter?
Harry: Now who would have thought that was worse news?

Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?
Frank: Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.

Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship.
[Resets the ship back to morning]
Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As always, the weather is a balmy 72 degrees and sunny, and, uh... Oh, I see the ship's log is showing that today is the 700th anniversary of our five year cruise. Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that 700 years later we'd be... doing the exact same thing they were doing. So, be sure next mealtime to ask for your free sep-tua-centennial cupcake in a cup. Wow, look at that.

When I was growing up, if we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.

Billy Ray

Troy Bolton: I've never even heard of Julliard.
Ms. Darbus: Well, that may be the case Mr. Bolton, but evidently Julliard has heard of you.

[singing along with the radio] Don't you wish your girlfriend was as hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me?

Rasputia

Ashley: What took you so long?
Kale: We were upstairs playing.
Ronnie: Video games!

Randal Graves: Becky, you've given guys blowjobs, right?
Becky: I haven't even put my purse down yet.
Randal Graves: That's a yes.

Mike: Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?
Trent: Yeah, I'm listening.
Mike: I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It's like, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin' puke!

Professor Snape: That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Tell me, are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?
Ron: He's got a point, you know.

[on phone] Hello. Dan! Hey. Oh, my God. Congratulations. lt's amazing. Do you have a name yet? Oh, no, that's terrific. Uh, probably because l'm jogging. No, l'm outside. Yes. l'm actually jogging outside. Please Playa del Rey. Don't laugh. I'm thinking about getting into...

Carter Duryea

Dr Ray Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin', Ray.

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