Dan Foreman: I'm not gonna try to sell you.
Eugene Kalb: Why the hell not? You're a salesman.
Dan Foreman: Yeah. Just not a very good one, that's all.
Eugene Kalb: I'll say.
Dan Foreman: But I am going to ask you one favor.
Eugene Kalb: Oh, yeah?
Dan Foreman: I'm gonna leave you an issue of the magazine and I'm personnally gonna send you a new one every week. Now, I'll call you in a few weeks, and if you want to we'll talk. There's a great article in there comparing today's quarterbacks with Johnny Unitas.
Eugene Kalb: [scoffs] Unitas would kick their butts. So this is your sales pitch?
Dan Foreman: I've been with the magazine for 20 years. I believe in it.

Apollo Creed vs. the Italian Stallion. Sounds like a damn monster movie.

Apollo Creed

You put the bone in Zamboni.

Chazz

Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.

Mordecai: Do you want to know my name?
LeeJohn: I don't just want to know your name, I want you to whisper it in my ear.
Mordecai: MORDECAI!

Angelica Bell: What happens when we die?
Virginia Woolf: What happens?
[pause]
Virginia Woolf: We return to the place that we came from.
Angelica Bell: I don't remember where I came from.
Virginia Woolf: Nor do I.

Was it an accident Andrew? Andrew?!

Matt Garetty

How do I know where the shit goes?

Nick Vanderpark

When my first husband left me I was so angry I wanted to cut his brake cables... but instead we ended up having sex on the elliptical machine.

Maria Kelly

[reading aloud from the newspaper] Your birthday today, Daisy. This year you have to make a choice between two life paths. Second chances comes your way. Extraordinary events culminate in what might seem to be an anticlimax. Your lucky numbers are 84, 23, 11, 78, and 99. What a load of shit.

Walt Kowalski

From the moment the invaders arrived, breathed our air, ate and drank, they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man's weapons and devices had failed, by the tiniest creatures that God in his wisdom put upon this earth. By the toll of a billion deaths, man had earned his immunity, his right to survive among this planet's infinite organisms. And that right is ours against all challenges. For neither do men live nor die in vain.

Narrator

My, we seem to be a little short on brotherly love round here.

Butch Cassidy

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