I need names... and shots. Bartender!

Johnny Storm

Linus Caldwell: Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that...
Rusty Ryan: If you're gonna ask if you can ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes.
Linus Caldwell: Okay, can I ask you...
Rusty Ryan: Yes.
Linus Caldwell: Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks...
Rusty Ryan: Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her.

How great is it for you that I'm not intimidated by your brilliance?

Julian Mercer

Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.

First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. Anyway, I'm here with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the "blue heart of the ocean" jewel over the railing of Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown, while you were safe floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?

Bruce

Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"

In the three years that I have known him, this is the most excited I have ever seen him.

Adam Goodman

IT'S IN THE HOLE!

Carl Spackler

Obi-Wan: Anakin, let's be fair. Today you were the hero and you deserve your glorious day with the politicians.
Anakin Skywalker: All right. But you owe me one, and for not saving your skin for the 10th time.
Obi-Wan: Ninth time. That business on Cato Neimodia doesn't ... doesn't count.

You got knocked the fuck out... gimme my goddamn money... yeah payback's a motherfucker, Nigga.

Smokey

Green Lantern: Don't worry Superman, I'll get you out of there
Superman: No,don't...
Green Lantern: Oh my gosh, my hands are stuck. My legs are stuck as well.
Superman: I super hate you.

Chief Fireman: Who's the leader?
Johnny Storm: That would be me!
Chief Fireman: No, really.

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