Dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules!

Chip Douglas

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.

"Gandhi" baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off.

Cal

Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic?

Paulette

Ellerby: Go fuck yourself.
Dignam: I'm tired from fucking your wife.
Ellerby: How is your mother?
Dignam: Good, she's tired from fucking my father.

Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?

Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"

Hey, man, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-Tastic Voyage.

Seth

Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy: I think you can.
Neighbor: Even if its your own?

Officer Reese: Hilldale, nothing but a breeding ground for tranks, lobos and zipheads.
Officer Foley: Yeah, they outta tear this whole place down.
Officer Reese: You got a little tranked, but I think you can walk.
Officer Foley: Ma'am, you should reprogram, it's dangerous to enter without lights on.

Marlin: I can't afford any more delays and you're one of those fish that causes delays. Sometimes it's a good thing. There's a whole group of fish. They're delay fish.
Dory: You mean... You mean you don't like me?
Marlin: No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.

I don't deserve someone like you. But If I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.

Phil

FREE Movie Newsletter