[while brushing teeth] Altogether, I've had five pints of beer and six bottles...no...six pints of beer and seven bottles, and you know what? I'm not even pissed.


Happy: So why do they call him "The Joker"?
Dopey: I heard he wears make-up.
Happy: Make-up?
Dopey: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.

I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye.


Dewey Finn: Give me a platform. Let's rock, let's rock, today. Now do it to me.
Lawrence: Let's rock, let's rock, today.
Dewey Finn: That's good. Slap it, shoot it, ka-boot it.

Harry Sanborn: Some people consider rap poetry.
Erica Barry: C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with bitch?

There are upwards of 7,000 people in central London alive tonight, because of information that we elicited just this way. So maybe you can put your head on your pillow and feel proud for saving one man while 7,000 perish, but I got grandkids in London, so I'm glad I'm doing this job... and you're not.

Corrine Whitman

I am one more "black gay kid getting punched in the face" away from a nervous breakdown. Do I make myself clear?

Principal Dadier (to Jenko and Schmidt)

Burger-Beard: Attack!
Patrick Star: I think we have a few minutes before he gets here.
Patrick Star: Aaahhh! He's right on top of us!
Mr. Krabs: Bar the door!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [He puts a chair under the doorknob] Got it!
Burger-Beard: Bullseye!

You're worried about me. Why?

Ethan Hunt

John Winger: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Soldiers: To get from the left to the right
John Winger: He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank
Soldiers: He ain't no chicken no more


Evan Baxter

White Bitch: Behold, my white castle.
[she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: I think I've been there before.

FREE Movie Newsletter