The German will be sickened by us, the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us.

Lt. Aldo Raine

Girl on Bus: Do you have monkeys in Scotland?
Nicholas Garrigan: No, but if we did we'd probably deep fry them!

Rudy: I'm sorry I never got you to see your first game in here.
Fortune: Hell I've seen too many games in this stadium.
Rudy: I thought you said you never saw a game...
Fortune: I've never seen a game from the stands.
Rudy: You were a player?

It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.

Hugh

I have always respected redheads as members of a hair color minority.

Elle

If you're so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?

Julius Levinson

Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.

Female Doctor

Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.

[after quizzing the hostages on their fake bios and the one hostage paused] Shoot him, he's an American Spy!

Tony Mendez

Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.

Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?

Lt. Frank Drebin

Charles: All these weddings, all these years, all that blasted salmon and champagne and here I am on my own wedding day, and I'm... eh... em... eh... still thinking.
Matthew: Well, can I ask about what?
Charles: No... no... I think, best not.

FREE Movie Newsletter