I'm Irish! This is milk to me baby! Milk!

Father Brian Finn

I am very proud to be an American. I am America's number one douche.

General Aladeen

I'm sexually paranoid.


Agent 99: I used to look like my mom.
Maxwell Smart: I used to look like two of my moms put together.

Raymond Horgan: Whats the hell is happening with Carolyn?
Rusty Sabich: Well, everything is in the works, I reassigned all of her cases, and this afternoon I gotta deal with all the stuff that Molto left us...
Raymond Horgan: Wait, wait, wait, wait... whats all of this reassignment shit? Goddamnit Rusty, I told you to give this investigation top priority! For Christsakes, look, Nicco is eating me alive with thing, the election is in ten days. If you don't have Carolyn's killer for us in ten days we are both history. Goddamnit, turn over all of that administrative bullshit to Mac.
Rusty Sabich: Mac's got more than she can handle already Raymond. Let me remind you we lost two key PA's in one day, and all you have time for is the damned election, I've gotta run the office!
Raymond Horgan: FUCK the office! Don't you understand what is happening here? If you don't find me a killer there is no FUCKING OFFICE! Now you listen to me, I want you right on top of Carolyn's case you understand? I want you to run out every ground ball, and I want you to do it in an orderly GODDAMNED FASHION! Start acting like a fucking professional!

Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: Okay.
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.

Tommy Corn: [after being hit in the face with a rubber ball] Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Caterine Vauban: Don't call it the ball thing. Call it pure being.
Tommy Corn: Okay... so can we do the pure being ball thing everyday?

Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: NO.
Donkey: Please. I don't wanna go back there. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak... Well, maybe you do, but that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!

I don't want any trouble.

Jim Stark

Carla: You didn't mean what you just said, did you?
Stanley Goodspeed: When?
Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty.
Stanley Goodspeed: I meant it at the time.
Carla: Stanley, "at the time" ... You said it seven and a half seconds ago!
Stanley Goodspeed: Well... gosh, kind of a lot's happened since then.

Excuse me.
[makes out with Danielle]


I know fucking karate.


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