Tai Lung: What are you going to, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don't tempt me.
Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.
Rusty: Reverse that.
Olivia Wenscombe: He says that it's even between you.
Robert Angier: Even? My wife for a few of his fingers?
Dr. Jacob Lane: Your kind will never be as powerful as us. No matter how hard you fight, you won't win.
Selene: You don't know me very well.
Radio announcer: President Truman'll be here tomorrow, so all you folks in Dallas turn out, chuh hear? This is Cowboy Rhythms on KTRN, Wichita Falls, here's Hank Williams' big hit tune, "Cold Cold Heart".
Sam the Lion: You ain't ever gonna amount to nothing. Already spent a dime this morning, ain't even had a decent breakfast. Gimme the chalk. Why don't you comb you hair Sonny, it sticks up, look like you smelled'm wolf. I'm surprised you had the nerve to show up this morning after that stomping y'all took last night.
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...
Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids!
Randal Graves: All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."
Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.
Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you fucking morons.
Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.
Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!Jonathan Carnahan
I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts.Buck Laughlin
Julien: [King Julian has popped out from a cake] Hey, surprise, freaks! I am coming with you!
Alex: Oh ho ho, no, thank you.
Julien: Oh, *yes*, thank you. It is *my* plane!