Biff Tannen: Go ahead, kid! Jump! A suicide will be nice and neat.
Marty McFly: What if I don't?
Biff Tannen: Lead poisoning.

Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian...
Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.

Agent 99: Did you see anything while I was dancing?
Maxwell Smart: Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you that high.

And you really believe that just because you publish children's books, people care about my reputation? You can have pictures of me wearing nipple rings, butt fucking Captain Kangaroo. The only thing they care about is the stock and whether that stock is up or down!


I'd like to say a few words about commitment. About honor. About responsibility. About a very special someone and admitting to her... [hits Virgil] Get up. Pull the chair out. ...admitting her in front of everybody that her wedding... and that very special honeymoon trip to Epcot Center... will have to be postponed.

Terry Benedict

Captain, Road Prison 36: You gonna get used to wearin' them chains afer a while, Luke. Don't you never stop listenin' to them clinking. 'Cause they gonna remind you of what I been saying. For your own good.
Luke: Wish you'd stop bein' so good to me, cap'n.

Julia: You can't see that Louis Waters is weird?
Clarissa Vaughn: I can see that he's sad.
Julia: Well. All of your friends are sad.

Rayette: You love me, Bobby?
Bobby: What do you think?

Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Look, man...
Walter Sobchak: Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Just ask him about the car.
Walter Sobchak: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Is that your car out front?
Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money, you little brat?

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap- high school and everything- just skip it.
Frank: You know Marcel Proust?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh- he gets down to the end of his life... and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered- Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school? Those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

As I was going to St. Ives, / I met a man with seven wives. / Every wife had seven sacks, / Every sack had seven cats, / Every cat had seven kittens. / Kittens, cats, sacks, wives, / How many were going to St. Ives?


Andrew Paxton: [about Margaret] Actually I picked up on all her little hints. This woman is about as subtle as a gun.
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