I have a bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Nick Naylor

This is really fascinating, what's going on at this table. Let's take you and Erica. You've been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You'd be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never marrying. You're elusive and un-getable, a real catch. Then, there's my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She's over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something - forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men - especially older men - are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.

Zoe

Ulysses Everett McGill: Ain't you gonna introduce us, Pete?
Pete: I don't know their names. I seen 'em first!

All it does is take one bite...

Evanora

Jamie: You have to promise you won't fall in love with me.
Landon: That's not a problem.

Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?
Dmitri: No, I don't see him.
Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.
[looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]
Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.

Oseary Drakoulias: By the way, who knocked up the journalist?
Steve Zissou: I'm not sure.

Nicolette: He killed our man.
Conklin: What, in the apartment?
Nicolette: Yeah.
Conklin: Well, you got to clean that up.
Nicolette: No, I can't clean it up; there's a body in the streets.
Conklin: So?
Nicolette: There's police, this is Paris.

Tia: My brother and I, we're not from your planet.
Jack Bruno: Well, you don't look like aliens.
Tia: What's an alien look like?
Jack Bruno: You know what aliens look like! They're like little green people with antennas, and "Take me to your leader, Earthlings!"

I'm gonna get you out of here. These doctors around here don't know squat. Otherwise, why would they be living out here in the desert? As soon as you're able to be moved, we'll find someplace where they've actually studied medicine.

Frankie Dunn

Neo: What is happening to me?
Morpheus: You are the One, Neo. You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you.

Why are you all wet, baby?
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Teddy Daniels

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