You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand.

Andy Stitzer

Marcus Burnett: You made me think you were gonna shoot me for a minute.
Mike Lowrey: I was.

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I can handle a sick old woman!

Lila Crane

I am gonna send you to a deep, dark place and I am gonna have fun doing it!

Eddie Dane

Jack: [In Elevator] Did you hear that?
Nick Naylor: [pause] No.
Jack: Exactly.

It's okay, Eleanor. It can be fixed.

Memphis

You picked the wrong house, bub.

Wolverine

I thought we were a platonic trio, not some sick sex dance! This is bullshit!

Tommy Corn

Albuquerque: Well, I know it sounds arrogant, but I'm on my way to town, if I ever make it, to become a country-western singer or star.
Kenny Fraiser: Yeah? What are you gonna do if you don't?
Albuquerque: If I don't? I don't kn... Oh, I could always go into sales.
Kenny Fraiser: Like ladies' clothes? Like what you're wearing?
Albuquerque: No... I don't know. Well, I know all about trucks, so I'd go into trucking, I guess.
Kenny Fraiser: You're kidding me.
Albuquerque: No, I'm not kiddin' you. I'm in a truck enough. And I know how to fix motors and all that.
Kenny Fraiser: Nobody'd buy trucks from a girl.
Albuquerque: I been fixin' motors a long time. They'd buy 'em from me 'cause I know all about motors. Why do you say that? See, what's happenin' is, if I can't sell trucks and I can't go...
Kenny Fraiser: Nobody'd buy a truck from a girl.
Albuquerque: [Spots her husband's truck] I knew this was gonna happen. Don't say you saw me.
[Runs off]
Star: Hey, you haven't seen my wife, have ya? She's sort of ordinary-lookin'.
Kenny Fraiser: Uh-uh. Are you going into town?
Star: You're not one of them country singers, are ya?
Kenny Fraiser: No. Can you give me a ride?
Star: All right, get in. You look like a guy I was in the navy with. He wouldn't bathe, so we had to pee in his bed to get him discharged.

Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

Steve

It's such a grey day.

Angela

Nick: We're all gonna' die, there's gonna' be huge crash!
Mechanic's Girlfriend: What? Have you lost your mind?

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