Hey! If you want to see this seventh card you're gonna stop speakin' fuckin' Sputnick.


Damn hamster.

John McClane

[to the Dude] Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.

Malibu Police Chief

Jenny Johnson: [seductively, walking toward him slowly] Matt Saunders, I'm afraid you've been a very evil boy. I think you need to be brought to justice.
Matt Saunders: [with a big grin on his face] Oh, yeah, I have been known to break a few rules here and there.
Jenny Johnson: [still seductive] Total, unequivocal justice.

[opening lyrics] A long ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo, there lived a humble family religious through and through. But yay, there was a black sheep, And he knew just what to do. His name was young JB and he refused to step in line. A vision he did see of fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align.


I once read that the only philosophical question that matters, is whether or not to commit suicide... I guess that makes me a philosopher.

Walter Sparrow

Catwoman: I thought you were just going to scare the Ice Princess.
The Penguin: She looked pretty scared to me!

We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.


What's Washington like? Well, its like Calcutta, surrounded by beggars. The only difference is the beggars in Washington wear $1,500 suits and they don't say please or thank you.

Robert Wakefield

Will Munny: You, fat man. Speak up.
Skinny Dubois: Uh, I... I own this establishment. I bought the place from Greeley for a thousand dollars.
[Will levels the shotgun, and speaks to someone standing behind Skinny]
Will Munny: You better clear outta there.
Man: Yes, sir.

Try acting like a father, shithead.


Daphne Wilder: God couldn't be everywhere, so that is why he invented mothers.
Maggie: What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you.

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