Don't open my pantry, Father. I found one of them in there and I locked him in.

Ray Reddy

Joe Miller: Who did you get?
Andrew Beckett: What?
Joe Miller: Did you find a lawyer?
Andrew Beckett: I'm a lawyer.

Sydney: Society tells us we're civilized but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it.
Peter: Baaah!
Sydney: Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.

Christine Everheart: Tony Stark! Christine Everheart, Vanity Fair magazine
Tony Stark: Hi, yeah okay, go.
Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark, you've been called the Da Vinci of our time; what do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.
Christine Everheart: What do you say to your other nickname, the 'Merchant of Death'?
Tony Stark: That's not bad.

Here you've been in therapy, you know, thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever, and really it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Dom

Hooper: Ah. Just like I thought... He came up with the Gulf Stream - from southern waters.
[pulls a Louisiana license plate from the shark]
Brody: He didn't eat a car, did he?
Hooper: Naw, a tiger shark's like a garbage can, it'll eat anything. Someone probably threw that in a river.

Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.

Cher

By night's end, I predict me and her will interface.

The Geek

Stephen: Fine speech. Now what do we do?
William Wallace: Just be yourselves.
Hamish: Where are you going?
William Wallace: I'm going to pick a fight.
Hamish: Well, we didn't get dressed up for nothing.

When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate, and I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns.

Toula Portokalos

It's a three year contract, with a confidentiality clause. Bulletproof, retroactive. Because, with everything that you know about people at this place, it's a little unnerving when you march in here and ask for 80,000 dollars.

Barry Grissom

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

Billy Madison

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