California Charlie, used car salesman: I'm in no mood for trouble.
Marion Crane: What?
California Charlie, used car salesman: There's an old saying, "First customer of the day is always the trouble!" But like I say, I'm in no mood for it so I'm gonna treat you so fair and square that you won't have one human reason to give me...
Marion Crane: Can I trade my car in and take another?
California Charlie, used car salesman: Do anything you've a mind to. Bein' a woman, you will. That yours?
Marion Crane: Yes, it's just that - there's nothing wrong with it. I just...
California Charlie, used car salesman: Sick of the sight of it! Well, why don't you have a look around here and see if there's somethin' that strikes your eyes and meanwhile I'll have my mechanic give yours the once over. You want some coffee? I was just about...
Marion Crane: No, thank you. I'm in a hurry. I just want to make a change, and...
California Charlie, used car salesman: One thing people never oughtta be when they're buyin' used cars and that's in a hurry. But like I said, it's too nice a day to argue. I'll uh - shoot your car in the garage here.

In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video and audio cassette. Seduce and Destroy will teach you the techniques to have any hardbody blonde just dripping to wet your dock. Bottom line? Language. The magical key to unlocking the female analytical mindset. Tap directly into her hopes, her wants, her fears, her desires, and her sweet little panties. Learn how to make that lady "friend" your sex-starved servant. I don't care how you look. I don't care what car you drive. I don't care what your last bank statement says. Seduce and Destroy produces an instant money-back guarantee trance-like state that will get you this - naughty sauce you want fast. Hey - how many more times do you need to hear the all-too-famous line of 'I just don't feel that way about you?'

Frank T.J. Mackey

Gimme some sugar, baby.


I hate to disappoint you but my rubber lips are immune to your charms.


Nigel Stone: You may find... that you need to... clarify... your situation. So please, don't hesitate to ask... if there's anything we can do to help you clarify...
Nicholas Garrigan: Is there some special school where you people go to to learn to talk like that?

Ursula: [talking into voice filter] Freeze motherfucker.
Foster: Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked.
Ursula: Drop your coat and grab your toes.
Foster: What?
Ursula: I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes.
Foster: Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help.
Ursula: [still talking into the voice filter] Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread. [pause] You don't have these at your station?
Foster: [grabs the voice filter, and speaks into it] I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow?
Ursula: I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.

We live and we die by time. And we must not commit the sin of losing our track on time.

Chuck Noland

Shrek: Excuse me; can you ladies tell me where to find...
Cheerleader: Ugh, totally ew-eth.
Cheerleader: Totally.

Ray Kinsella: Don't you miss being involved?
Terence Mann: I was the East Coast distributor of "involved." I ate it, drank it, and breathed it... Then they killed Martin, Bobby, and they elected Tricky Dick twice, and people like you must think I'm miserable because I'm not involved anymore. Well, I've got news for you. I spent all my misery years ago. I have no more pain for anything. I gave at the office.

When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

Aldous Snow

God, I always said I would never bother you about baseball, lord knows you have bigger things to worry about. But if you could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes, I would really appreciate it.

Billy Chapel

Angela Hayes: So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?
Jane Burnham: It's not like that.
Angela Hayes: What, hasn't he got one?
Jane Burnham: I'm not going to talk about his dick with you, OK?

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