And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

Mike

Commander Gilmour: Oh my God, he's back.
Johnson Ritter: In many ways, Bob's Big Boy never left, sir. He's always offered the same high quality meals at competitive prices.

I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Kirk Lazarus

I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam.

Harry Hart

Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like
Jimmy Two Times: I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Ty Webb

Captain O'Hagan: I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, "Shenanigans."
Mac: Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva: You mean Shenanigans?
Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Thorny: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.
Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.
White Goodman: I know you just said that.
Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're going with this.
White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where *you're* going with this.
Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to *you*.
Peter La Fleur: All right.
White Goodman: ...TouchÈ.

When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.

Il Duce

Bitter Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Bitter Customer: [grabs pack of cigarettes] Fuckin' dickhead.

Charley Bowdre: Hey, Chavez, how come they ain't killing us?
"Dirty Steve" Stephens: Because we're in the spirit world, asshole. They can't see us.

Louis Winthorpe III: Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph!
Billy Ray Valentine: Lionel! From the African Education Conference!
Louis Winthorpe III: Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
Billy Ray Valentine: I remember the pavilion - we had big fun there!
Both: Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah! Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah!
Billy Ray Valentine: Oh, memories!

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