King Louie: Ha-ha, so you're the mancub? Crazy.
Mowgli: I'm not as crazy as you are, put me down.

Sam Loomis: You mean the old woman I saw tonight wasn't Mrs. Bates?
Deputy Sheriff Al Chambers: Now wait a minute, Sam, are you sure you saw an old woman?
Sam Loomis: Yes! In the house behind the motel! I called and I pounded but she just ignored me!

John McClane: You can't do it that way you dumb, motherfucking...
Zeus: Say it! Say it!
John McClane: Say what?
Zeus: You were going to call me a nigger, weren't you?
John McClane: No I wasn't!
Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!

Patricia: Mike, Where's Sheila?
Mike: I made her drive, we took the plane. I should've made her walk, y'all know she fat as hell.
Patricia: Mike, do you hear what you are saying?
Diane: [to Patricia and Angela] Did he just say he made her drive?
Angela: I'm still stuck on the fat as hell part.

Bernie Focker: [hitting toilet with fire extinguisher] I gotta save my dog!
Jack Byrnes: Forget your dog, what about my toilet?

Jason Nesmith: Okey dokey, Okey dokey. Lets fire blue particle cannons full, red particle cannons full, gannet magnets fire them left and right, and let 'em run all chutes. And while you're at it, why don't ya toss that at 'em killer
Jason Nesmith: That should take care of old lobster head shouldn't it?

Dante Hicks: Are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

We're finally getting out of this turkey town, and now you wanna crawl back into your cell, right? You wanna end up like John? You just can't stay seventeen forever.

Steve Bolander

Nice ass won't get you through your whole life. Once you turn thirty you better have a personality.

Raji

I just think you have let your troubles get in the way of your entire life.

Greta

Victoria 'Vicky': I want it to be the right time, the right place...
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.

I wish I were big.

Young Josh

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