Lt. Frank Drebin: I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!
[Music stops playing. Everyone stops talking and stares at him]
Lt. Frank Drebin: [to everybody] I mean at the time I was dating a lot.

Jesse: Told you. Endings are the best part.
Beca: You're such a weirdo.

Photographer: I got your picture man, I got your picture!
David Mills: Oh yeah? Detective Mills, M-I-L-L-S, fuck you!

Vanessa Loring: How do I look?
Bren: Like a new mom. Scared shitless.

Earl McGraw: Who's the bride?
Edgar McGraw: Don't know. The name on the marriage certificate is "Arlene Machiavelli." That's a fake. We've all just been calling her "The Bride" on account of the dress.
Earl McGraw: You can tell she was pregnant. Man'd have to be a mad dog to shoot a goddamn good-looking gal like that in the head. Look at her. Hay-colored hair, big eyes. She's a little blood-spattered angel.

We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!


I was the only guy who disagreed with the cops - and I had brain damage.

Leonard Shelby

Why do I fix everything I touch!

Fix-It Felix

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Tibby: How old are you, anyway? 10?
Bailey: I'm 12!
Tibby: Same difference.
Bailey: No, when I was 10 I didn't have an iPod.
Tibby: Mhm, you're so cool. And what do you listen to on there, teletubbies hit parade?

Winston: I don't have to know what I'm doing, just so long as you know.
Max Cherry: I think I do. Good enough?
Winston: You bet.

Yeah, well, we all have our special talents.


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