[to bartender] You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderrama.

Ben Stone

Augustus Waters: What's your name?
Hazel Grace Lancaster: Hazel
Augustus Waters: No, your full name
Hazel Grace Lancaster: Hazel Grace Lancaster

Biff Tannen: 300 bucks? 300 bucks for a couple of dents? Hey, that's bullshit, Terry.
Terry: No, Biff, it was horse shit! And it was all over your car! I had to pay old man Jones 80 bucks to haul it away!
Biff Tannen: Old Man Jones! Probably re-sold it too. I oughtta get something for that!
Terry: You want to get something for it! You can go inside and you can call Old Man Jones! If he wants to give you a refund, that's fine!

[from trailer] That was one of the finest examples of spiritual guidance I've ever had the good fortune to witness.

Murphy MacManus

Diner Fight Guy 1: ~ the fuck is wrong with you, man? You rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know?
Dave Lizewski: And three assholes, laying it in one guy while everyone else watches?
[reaches for air]
Dave Lizewski: And you wanna know what's wrong with me? Yeah, I'd rather die... so bring it on!

Mr. Furious: Rage... taking over...
Casanova Frankenstein: Yes, yes, we've heard that before.
Mr. Furious: No. Rage... REALLY taking over...

Poor Frank. What'd she tell you? That we're smuggling people in containers. You know *Lai's* a great name for her.

Darren 'Wall Street' Bettencourt

I always believed it was the things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things, like it was something they'd accomplished. The bodies around their souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people who are missing, it helps to know where they started. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves."

Patrick Kenzie

Allison: Are you stalking me?
Carl Allen: No, i would never do that.
Carl Allen: Oh by the way, the new furniture looks great from the yard.

Zeus: [picks up the phone] I'm here.
Simon: And McClane?
Zeus: He's on his way. He's a little slow. He's out of shape.
Simon: The rules applied to the both of you. I'm afraid this is non-compliance. Goodbye.
Zeus: [to cops] Trust me guys. Duck.

Huggy Bear: Look here, Hutch, you gon' have to lay up off this juice. You done had too much to drink.
Hutch: Come on! I feel like a million bucks. I'm just laughing, having a good time.
Huggy Bear: Look man, it ain't even funny no more. There used to be a time around here when you peed on the wall, you did it outside.
Hutch: Lighten up! It's Friday night. Okay, it's a bar.
Huggy Bear: Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon man. Snap out of it.

[to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.


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