TV Sports Announcer: [announcing basketball game on TV] 3 seconds left. The shot is up...
TV Narrator: [Peyton switches channel] Welcome to the magical world of ponies!

Professor Severus Snape: What would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside... on a day like this?
[after Harry, Ron, and Hermoine fail to provide an answer]
Professor Severus Snape: You ought to be more careful. People with think you're...
[sees Harry staring at him]
Professor Severus Snape: up... to something.

[narrating] Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.

Lester Burnham

Yoda: It is finished. No more training you require.
Luke: Then I am a Jedi.

Does it look like I got cunt written on my head? Who do you think you are fucking with?

Chev Chelios

You're gonna kill me woman! I need sleep, I need food, to regain my strength!

Young Noah

Ya know, I believe it was our buddy Bill Shakespeare who said, "To err is human, but to forgive, well that's right on."

Reese Feldman

Of course time is just a counting system... numbers with meanings attached to them.

Walter Sparrow

What do I want? Oh my god, I want Penny to quit smoking and go to college. I want, I want to be able to pay the phone, electric and rent in the same month. I want a girl to be on the cover of Surf magazine. It would be great if that girl were me, but any girl would do. I want... I mean I wish my mom would come home, and I really, really want to win pipe masters tomorrow, that's what I want.

Anne Marie

[lying in bed imagining the scene] You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head.

Rob

Django, you uppity son of a... !

Stephen

Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Cher

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