Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for.


Ron: What are those?
Harry: My dress robes...
Ron: Well, those're all right! No lace, no dodgy little collar...
Harry: Well, I expect yours are more traditional...
Ron: Traditional? They're ancient! I look like my great aunt Tessie!
[takes a sniff in the underarm area]
Ron: I smell like my great Aunt Tessie!

Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!

Tyler Durden

Harry Osborn: Nobel Prize, Otto! We'll see you in Sweden!
Dr. Otto Octavius: [to Peter] Interesting person, your friend.

There even are places where English completely disappears; in America they haven't used it for years.

Professor Henry Higgins

Professor X: Eric what have you done?
Magneto: I'm sorry, Charles. I couldn't help it.
Professor X: What have you told Stryker?
Magneto: Everything.

Lucy McClane: Daddy?
John McClane: Lucy baby?
Lucy McClane: There's five of them now!

Do you know what she has done to me? It's terrible! She has turned me into an honest man.

Fritz Wendel

Operation Stupid is officially over!


Chubbs: Back in 1965, Sports Illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah? What happened?
Chubbs: They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Happy Gilmore: Ah, I'm sorry. Because you're black?
Chubbs: Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my hand off!
[Shows Happy his wooden hand]
Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!
Chubbs: Yeah. tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of the bastard's eyes out though. Look at that.
[Shows Happy a small glass jar with an eyeball in it]
Happy Gilmore: You're pretty sick, Chubbs.

Here, take this money and give my half and Ned's half to my kids. Tell 'em if I ain't back in a week, they give half to Sally Two-Trees. You keep the rest, you can get them spectacles now.

Will Munny

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: [narrating] This was typical of Mikey Forrester.
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: What the fuck are these?
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: [narrating] In the normal run of things, I would have nothing to do with the cunt. But this was not the normal run of things.
Mikey Forrester: Opium suppositories. Ideal for your purposes. Slow release. Bring you down gradual. Custom fucking designed for your needs.
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: I want a fucking hit!
Mikey Forrester: That's all I've got, matey, take it or leave it.
[Renton considers this and eventually takes the Opium suppositories and inserts them]
Mikey Forrester: Aye, you feel better the now right?
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: Oh, yeah, for all the good they've done me, I might as well have stuck them up my arse!

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