Miles Finch: [pitching ideas] No tomatoes. Too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.
Walter: See, I told you guys. I told them the same thing...
Miles Finch: And no farms. Everyone's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.

Grandfather: Hullo.
John: He can talk then, can he?
Paul: 'Course he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
Ringo: Well if he's your grandfather, who knows! Ha ha ha!

[to Horton] You are a warrior poet!

Morton

Todd's looking for you. He is really pissed. You know what he said? This is your worst fuck up ever. Personally, I don't think that's true.

Jeffery

Lena: How do you say "lost pants" in Greek?
Yia Yia: Greek girls do not lose their pants!

Evelle: Gale? Um, Junior just had a ... an accident.
Gale: What's that, pardner?
Evelle: He had hisself a little ol' accident.
Gale: What do you mean? He looks okay.
Evelle: No. You see, moving though we are, he just went and had hisself a little ol' rest stop.
Gale: [sniffs the air] Well, that's natural.

Opal: Have you been in Vietnam?
Pfc. Glenn Kelly: Huh?
[Nods]
Opal: Yes, you have. I can tell by your face. Was it awful?
Pfc. Glenn Kelly: It was kinda... hot and wet.

I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom!

Eli

Michael Bolton: You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.

Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premiere tramp of the New York area.

Kathryn

Judah Ben-Hur: I must deal with Messala in my own way.
Balthasar: And your way is to kill him.
[Judah's look confirms this]
Balthasar: I see this terrible thing in your eyes, Judah Ben-Hur, but no matter what this man has done to you, you have no right to take his life. He will be punished inevitably.
Judah Ben-Hur: I don't believe in miracles.
Balthasar: Your life is a miracle! Why will you not accept God's judgment?

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