On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.

Dorothy

Payback. Except I'm not in that business anymore - because the one thing I learned in jail is that money is not the prime asset in life. Time is.

Gordon Gekko

Ned Logan: I sure do miss my bed.
Will Munny: You said that last night.
Ned Logan: No, last night I said I missed my wife, tonight I just miss my goddamn bed.

Harry: Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be. Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have fucking phones with fucking voicemail on them and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three you better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there'll be fucking Hell to pay. I'm fucking telling you.
Ray: Jeez, he swears a lot, doesn't he?

Vincent Benedict: [impressed with Julius's fighting abilities] You could be a boxer or something. I could be your manager.
Julius Benedict: No, I could never fight for money.
Vincent Benedict: Well that's fine. You fight, I'll keep the money.

Harvey Logan: Guns or knives?
Butch Cassidy: Neither?
Harvey Logan: Pick.
Butch Cassidy: I don't want to shoot with you Harvey.
Harvey Logan: [draws a big knife] Anything you say, Butch.

Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett: Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett: I thought you called it your pecker.

Make 'em laugh!

Cosmo Brown

Abba Zaba, you my only friend.

Thurgood Jenkins

What happens when the numbers run out?

Diana Whelan

I am a rooster illusion.

Tugg Speedman

We are the Knights who say... Ni!

Knight 1

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