Paul Sheldon: You know I never tasted meatloaf quite like this, what's your secret?
Annie Wilkes: My secret is, I always use fresh tomatoes, never canned. And to give it that extra zip, I mix a little Spam with the ground beef!
Paul Sheldon: Can't get this in a restaurant in New York.
Annie Wilkes: Oh, no.

Walter Donovan: [points gun at Indy] The Grail is mine. And you're going to get it for me.
Indiana Jones: Shooting me won't get you anywhere.
Walter Donovan: You know something, Dr. Jones? You're absolutely right.
[Shoots Henry in the stomach]

I don't know whether to help you or euthanize you.


Ron Burgundy: [riding unicorns through cartoon Pleasure Town] Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Oh. Do me on it.

Well they're not moon burns, goddamnit.

Roy Neary

Tim: By the way, it says 'balls' on your face.
Andrew Largeman: [to Mark] Asshole!
Mark: What? My mum did it.

Bonaparte: They found a lump on my lung, looks pretty dark... doctor says I don't have much time left.
Barney Ross: Oh... I'm sorry to hear that... So, what have you been doing?
Bonaparte: Working as much as I can, trying to make enough money so that I'll have something to leave to my kids... you know, so that they remember they had some kind of a father in their lives.
Barney Ross: I understand...
Bonaparte: [beat] I'm just fine, I'm not really dying.
Barney Ross: Geez, don't ever do that again!
Bonaparte: I just wanted to make sure you're still human...

You are NOT my mother.

Coraline Jones

...the Senate is expected to vote on this today. In other news, officials at the Pacific nuclear research facility have denied the rumor that a case of missing plutonium was, in fact, stolen from their vault two weeks ago. A Libyan terrorist group had claimed responsibility for the alleged theft. However, officials now attribute the discrepancy to a simple clerical error. The FBI, which is still investigating the matter, had no comment. Twelve wooden crates filled with cocaine washed ashore near Boca Raton, Florida, yesterday.

TV news anchor

Chase Collins: That guy's puking really came at an opportune moment.
Reid Garwin: Didn't it though?

Jessica (in Clive's body): [grabs Clive's drink as he's about to drink it] There'd better not be any alcohol in that!
Clive (in Jessica's body): Oh, no no no. This is a VIRGIN Scotch on the Rocks.

Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?

Ferris Bueller

FREE Movie Newsletter