Kumar: [sniffs] Hey, what's that smell?
Harold: What smell? Kumar...
Kumar: [starts sniffing like a crazed bloodhound, and then sees a huge bag of marijuana, his eyes widen]
Harold: Hey Kumar! Kumar! Where are you...
[Kumar rushes to the bag of marijuana]
Harold: Kumar! Still in jail, asshole! Come here!

Joe Black: I don't care Bill. I love her.
William Parrish: How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That's not love.
Joe Black: Then what is it?
William Parrish: Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging - it's missing everything that matters.
Joe Black: Which is what?
William Parrish: Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.
Joe Black: So that's what love is according to William Parrish?
William Parrish: Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
Joe Black: Those were my words.
William Parrish: They're mine now.

I don't give a shit about the barracudas, fuck it! I'm building it anyway.

Max Fischer

[playing Gin] Look at this hand. This ain't a hand. This is a fuckin deformed Creature from the Black fuckin Lagoon's claw I got here.


Grace: You still have to go over there, the nurse is waiting.
Bruce: Oh, do I have to?
Grace: Oh, it's not going to hurt. In fact I think you might find it quite pleasurable.

Chavez: I told you I would find the way, and the way is west.
William H. Bonney: West, huh? Well ... west is that way...
[points gun in one direction] ... and the bastards we gotta kill are that way.

Two-Face: Don't worry people, no need for alarm, it's just a good-old fashioned, low-tech stick up! We're interested in the basics: cash, jewelry, cellular telephones. Just hand them over nicely, and no one will be hurt.

Huh? Did you just- That's it, Tinker Bell! You wanna fly? Then fly!

Ben Grimm

Everybody steals from everybody, that's Hollywood.


Machete don't text.


We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow.

John Dillinger

There is nothing wrong with poor people. I get elected by poor people.

Mayor Kate Hennings

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