What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.


Does it hurt to be dead?

Jake Witzky

So now, alone or not, you've got a walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too.


You're an old man, I don't want to fight you.
[Gus punches Larry in the face]


Caesar loves humans more than apes!


Francis Fratelli: Get the rope here. Slothy, Slothy, jumprope Slothy.
Jake Fratelli: What do you mean jump rope?
Francis FratelliJake Fratelli: Jumprope! Jumprope.
Francis FratelliJake Fratelli: Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies...
Sloth: [Sloth rips off his shirt revealing a T-Shirt with the Superman 'S' on the front] Sloth!
Jake Fratelli: We're in deep shit now, Francis.
Francis Fratelli: Oh, shit!

Sidney Prescott: You sick fucks. You've seen one too many movies!
Billy: Now Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!

Have you ever been struck by lightning? It hurts.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

Butterfield: Twenty-two robberies, over four hundred thousand dollars in losses.
Ben Wade: Ya'll notice he didn't mention any of the lives I've taken?

DJ Iz: That's why brothers need to sign themselves a deal. I'm telling you record labels supply niggers with the kind of benefits they need.
Sol: Dawg. We sign us a deal you can take the motherfucking benefits, we're talking Bentley's and Benjamins not Blue Cross and Blue Shield.
Future: Look to tell you all niggers the truth, I don't give a fuck about none of that. I just wanna hit 31 and a 3rd on the box you know what I'm saying? One of them strong songs on JLB.
DJ Iz: No what we need to do is save that shit up and put it into some savings bonds every week, stack it and build our own studio.
Future: Savings Bonds?

Puss in Boots: I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws!
Kitty Softpaws: Sooner than you think... (Holds Puss' boots up)
Puss in Boots: She is a bad kitty...

Uhhh, does anyone here speak English?

Marcus Brody

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