Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.

[to crowd] I know who you are and what you are. I am you!

Idi Amin

Ha ha ha, wasn't that just magnificent? I thought it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but that finale... Wow!

Willy Wonka

Dan: I need a favor.
Kuwaiti Businessman: Why I should help you?
Dan: Because we're friends.
Kuwaiti Businessman: You saying we are friends? How come you only call me when you help? But when I need something you are too busy to pick up the phone. I don't think we are friends.
Dan: All right, fair enough. How about a new V10 Lamborghini? How's that for friendship?

President Andrew Shepherd: You have concerns?
Sydney Ellen Wade: Yes. Not many. A few. One. I have one concern.
President Andrew Shepherd: This wouldn't have to do with the fact that one of us is president?

Because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.


Rob: What if I was doing something that can't be cancelled?
Laura: Rob, what are you ever doing that can't be cancelled?

[during "Red, White, and Blaine production] I love you too pa. You taught me how to be a man. How to wrastle a steer to the ground and apply a fiery brand to his hind-quarters. And yes, how to love a woman. How the smell of her hair can drive a man wild!

Corky St. Clair

Hans Gruber: Mister Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no I'm afraid not. But you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshall Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda' partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really dig those sequined shirts.

Hutch: We owe you one Huggy.
Huggy Bear: No, you're gonna owe me more than one, man.
Hutch: Well, let's slow down with the score keeping, I may have to start remembering some of the things I've overlooked in the past and mention them to my partner. How'd that be?

Susan Storm: It's got to be the cloud! It's fundamentally altered our DNA!
Reed Richards: Now, let's not jump to conclusions. We need much more scientific evidence before we can say that.
Johnny Storm: Hey, guys!
[his thumb is on fire. He snaps his fingers, and it goes out. He snaps it on again, then off again]
Johnny Storm: Now picture that... But everywhere! I mean... Everywhere! *What*?
Reed Richards: ...The cloud has fundamentally altered our DNA.

Peter "Weps" Ince: Con, Weapons. Missiles will be ready to launch in 4 minutes.
Hunter: Listen Weps, listen Weps, don't do this. Don't do this Weps, once we launch, they can not come back, they can not come back Weps, and you know the repercussions if we're wrong, goddamit. Weps, if we fire now, we'll be firing when we're blind and crippled, you understand that?
Peter "Weps" Ince: Where the fuck are you?
Hunter: Do not remove the firing trigger! Do not open that safe Weps. We're counting you, it is up to YOU Weps. It is up to you. [Hangs up]
Peter "Weps" Ince: [to a petty officer] Mind your fucking panel!

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