Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins.

Dr. Evil

Bailey: You know, I read that when Bill Gates was younger, he ran a lemonade stand.
Tibby: No, you don't know that.
Bailey: Yeah I do, I read it in a magazine.
Tibby: No, where did you read that?
Bailey: ...In a magazine.

Princess Fiona: You know, you are acting like a... a...
Shrek: Go on, say it.
Princess Fiona: Like an ogre!
Shrek: Well, whether your parents like it or not, I am an ogre!
[growls at the dog to shut it up]
Shrek: And guess what, princess? That's not about to change.
Princess Fiona: I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.
[she leaves]
Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre! Arrr!"

[turning to Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock after a zombie] What do you think? "Zombie Killer of the Week"?

Tallahassee

I have HBO.

Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris

Bruce Wayne: I'm retired.
Lucius Fox: Well let me show you some stuff anyway. Just for old time's sake.

Thorny: All right Arlo, why don't you hop up on Uncle Rabbit's lap?
Rabbit: [Indicating that he still has an erection] I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorny!

Jake Oleson: I saw them feeding on Grandma Helen. I saw their teeth. They're like, vampires, you know?
Stella Oleson: Vampires don't exist, Jake.

Fuck this weed is good.

Eric

Young boys should never be sent to bed... they always wake up a day older.

J.M. Barrie

Disco is NOT dead!

Tony P.

[points the ring at the Lantern] I hereby swear allegiance... to a lantern, given to me by a dying purple alien.

Hal Jordan

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