Just because I told you my story, does not invite you to be a part of it!

Edward Cole

Happy hunting!


Harold Crick: It's not schizophrenia! I just hear a voice in my head
Dr. Mittag-Leffler: It's schizophrenia

Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
Trip McNeely: Really? Which ones?
Mike Dexter: You must be racking up at college. College!
Trip McNeely: I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
Mike Dexter: Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Trip McNeely: Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
Mike Dexter: [pauses] S-s-so, what happened?
Trip McNeely: [sighs] College chicks are totally different, bro. They're serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. And they wanna date older guys.

I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils.


He made the shot dickhead. You bet him he couldn't, and he did.

Tyler Sims

[greeting a pair of visitors from Jefferson City] I heard tell once of a Jefferson City lawyer who had a parrot that would wake him each morning crying out 'today's the day the world shall end as scripture has foretold'. And one day, the lawyer shot him for the sake of peace and quiet I presume, thus fulfilling, for the bird at least, his prophecy.

Abraham Lincoln

Allison Reynolds: I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire Standish: You're lying.
Allison Reynolds: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire Standish: Lie.
Brian Johnson: Are your parents aware of this?
Allison Reynolds: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew Clark: And what did he do when you told him?
Allison Reynolds: He nailed me.
Claire Standish: Very nice.

Harry: I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.
Ron: Brilliant!
Hermione: Honestly Ron, it's not funny! Harry was lucky not to be expelled.
Harry: I think I was lucky not to have been arrested actually.
Ron: I still think it's brilliant.

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is?
Narrator: It's a comforter...
Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket.

[to Zhora] I'm from the, uh, Confidential Committee on Moral Abuses.


Our world will never truly be safe till all of them are gone.

Harold Attinger

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