I may not do everything great in my life, but I'm good at this. I manage to touch people's lives with what I do and I want to share this with you.

Carl Casper

Rachel Dawes: I never stopped thinking about you... about us... when I heard you were back, I started to hope...
[Rachel kisses Bruce]
Rachel Dawes: That was before I found out about the mask.
Bruce Wayne: Batman's just a symbol, Rachel.
Rachel Dawes: [Rachel touches Bruce's face] *This* is your mask. Your real face is the one that criminals now fear. The man I loved - the man who vanished - he never came back at all. But maybe he's still out there, somewhere. Maybe one day, when Gotham no longer needs Batman, I'll see him again.

Jake Taylor: I play for the Indians.
Chaire Holloway: Here in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team!
Jake Taylor: Yup, we've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!

Mr. Krabs: That pirate's gonna destroy our world!
Squidward Tentacles: Aren't you overreacting a bit?
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like wearing leather.
Squidward Tentacles: I prefer suede.

Janey: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel.
Mitch: It sounds more like you're a lesbo.
Mr. Briggs: Hey, Mitch, now leave your sister alone.
Janey: Thank you, daddy.
Mr. Briggs: If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision.

Maxwell Smart: [after he gets recruited as a new agent] I request a cone of silence.
Maxwell Smart: [he doesn't press the button hard enough so everyone can hear him] Oh, I'm so happy! I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life!
Lloyd: Dude, you didn't press the button hard enough...
Maxwell Smart: Right.

I saw my whole life as if I had already lived it. An endless parade of parties and cotillions, yachts and polo matches. Always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. I felt like I was standing at a great precipice, with no one to pull me back, no one who cared... or even noticed.

Old Rose

I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know.

Elizabeth Halsey

I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat.

Private Cowboy

I tried taking pictures, but they were so mediocre. I guess every girl goes through a photography phase. You know, horses... taking pictures of your feet.

Charlotte

Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
Hitchhiker: Hell no.
Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
Hitchhiker: No.
Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?
Hitchhiker: What?
Raoul Duke: Never mind.

I want your blood. And I want your soul. And I want them both right now!

Johnny Ringo

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