I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

Private Joker

Obi-Wan: I will never join you, Dooku.
Count Dooku: It may be difficult to secure your release.

I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

I wouldn't mind being married to you... would you mind being married to me?

Mr. Big

I'd say it was probably the fall that killed this guy... or it could be the crowbar embedded in his skull. I'd say it's about 50-50.

Detective Vitale

If I'm being completely honest, he does have these amazing balls that I just love to play with. They're firmer and fuzzier. [looks around] Tennis balls! He's my tennis partner!

Tracy

Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.

If there's something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.

Ben Gates

[to Keith Frazier] If this goes down wrong, they're gonna dump this whole mess in your lap.

Det. Bill Mitchell

If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

Barry the Baptist

If you think for one moment I don't have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong.

M

Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

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