Mondoshawan: Priest, you and those before you have served us well. But war is coming. Stones not safe on Earth anymore.
Priest: My lord, if you take the weapon, we will be defenseless when the evil returns.
Mondoshawan: In 300 years, when Evil returns... so shall we.

Dirk: Andy, get him out of here now!
Dorri: [to Farhad] Go, wait in the car.
Farhad: [to Dirk] You are ignorant man!
Dirk: I'm ignorant. You're liberating my country, and I'm flying seven four sevens into your mud huts and incinerating my friends. Get the fuck out of my store!

Foreign contaminant!


With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln

You will not make this putt... jackass!


Jasper: What did you do for your birthday?
Theodore Faron: Nothing.
Jasper: Oh come on, you must have done something.
Theodore Faron: Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit.
Jasper: That's called a hangover, Amigo.

Detective James Carter: We need to get her to relax.
Chief Inspector Lee: Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
Detective James Carter: Lee!
Chief Inspector Lee: Only $9.95.

Spock: He reminds me of someone I knew in my youth.
Bones: Why, Spock, I didn't know you had one.

You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

Chip Douglas

Colin Sullivan: Frank? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Frank Costello: [laughing] See anything you like, Colin?
Colin Sullivan: I almost fucking shot you!
Frank Costello: You're not indulging in self-abuse, are you? I hope you're not turning into one of them sob sisters who wants to get caught. You're not cracking up, are you?
Colin Sullivan: I don't crack up.
Frank Costello: Picking a place like this, where any cop can see you. Jesus.
Colin Sullivan: If it was such a fucking bad idea, why'd you show up?
Frank Costello: [turning to face Sullivan] I own the place.
Colin Sullivan: Look, I gotta tell you...
Frank Costello: You're getting re-assigned. I know.
Colin Sullivan: How the fuck do you know that?
Frank Costello: Where'd they put you?
Colin Sullivan: Hey Frank, I gotta find myself.
Frank Costello: You're telling me, sonny boy.
Colin Sullivan: I gotta find the guy you got in the department.
Frank Costello: With everybody looking up their own ass, and you looking for yourself, I'd put my money on nobody finds nothing.

Paul Sheldon: You know I never tasted meatloaf quite like this, what's your secret?
Annie Wilkes: My secret is, I always use fresh tomatoes, never canned. And to give it that extra zip, I mix a little Spam with the ground beef!
Paul Sheldon: Can't get this in a restaurant in New York.
Annie Wilkes: Oh, no.

Go? I think not. My sons and daughters do not harm Hagrig on my command, but I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into our midst! Good-bye, friend of Hagrid...


FREE Movie Newsletter